


Repair

by 88problems, AlexTheShipper



Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Arc Reactor Issues, Chronic Pain, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Iron Man 3, Recovery, Surgery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 05:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10678446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/88problems/pseuds/88problems, https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexTheShipper/pseuds/AlexTheShipper
Summary: It isn't until after the arc reactor has been removed from his chest, that Pepper finds out that it caused Tony chronic pain.





	Repair

“I have to go,” Rhodey mutters. He stands up abruptly, his chair makes a screeching noise as it slides across the tile. Pepper doesn’t flinch, glancing up from her perch in the equally uncomfortable chair by Tony’s hospital bed. His words cut through the near silence of the cramped room, which previously held only the beeps of the heart monitor and the quiet whir of the air conditioning. She nods at the fevered, jerky, movements the Colonel makes as he turns towards the corner, gathering his things.

 

“They want me back on base. I just,” Rhodey shakes his head gruffly as Pepper moves to stand up from the plastic and metal seat beside the bed where Tony is dozing lightly; the medication and general exhaustion due to surgery have taken their toll on him, and he’s been sleeping through most of the last twenty four hours.

 

“He knows you were here, it’s okay Jim. I’m staying,” She grabs his arm as he paces past, squeezing gently.

 

Rhodey’s eyes sweep over her slight form, she is swathed in an old Stark Industries zip up hoodie that drapes haphazardly over her Valentino suit and her hair has drooped slightly from the low bun it had been curled in, held with a single clip, the previous night. Her eyes, however, are wide and awake. 

 

“Take care of him Pep,” he says. Voice soft, his mouth turns down in a worried grimace as she looks back to the bed.

 

“Always,” she whispers.

With one last irritated glance at the bright blue Starkphone screen he bids them a half hearted goodbye and sweeps out of the room.

 

The arc reactor had been removed the day before, and Tony had awoken several times, a good sign the doctors had said. He was recovering well, but responsibility was beginning to tug both Pepper and Rhodey out of the hospital.

 

Pepper sits for a moment in the room; loneliness now accompanies the pervasive rhythmic beep of Tony’s heart monitor, both a relief and an annoyance, and then climbs to her feet. A sudden craving for something warm and caffeinated overpowers her as she slips into the hallway to retrieve a coffee from the small kitchenette tucked around the corner, the nurse's best kept secret. It’s been a long couple of days, and she could certainly use the pick me up. 

 

The kitchenette is just behind the nurses station in a small alcove, and the coffee machine, though far slower than any machine found at Stark Towers, is a welcome convenience. Her fingers drum impatiently against the cheap linoleum countertop as she waits for it to brew.

 

“Pepper Potts?” Someone asks, and she looks up to see a nurse, a young woman, most likely right out of college with short scruffy hair. She nods at the young woman, glancing at the timer on the coffee pot. “I’m a huge fan of the work you’ve done as CEO of Stark Industries. You’re such an inspiration.” The woman gushes, and Pepper does her best to tuck away her tired frustration, and offer this woman a genuine smile.

 

“Thank you,” Pepper replies. She pulls her lips into a semblance of a genuine smile. She taps her chipped fingernails against the side of the coffee cup making a dull noise in the process. She needs to get her manicure redone, she’s been picking at it again. 

 

“I’m so sorry, I must be bothering you.” The woman realizes, looking ashamed. Her red scrubs remind Pepper of the Ironman suit, almost the exact right shade. It’s almost enough to coax a smile out of her.

 

“It’s okay, what’s your name?” Pepper asks. The cheap coffee maker beeps to announce the pot has finished brewing and Pepper grabs the handle to pour herself a cup.

 

“I’m Lacey,” The nurse, Lacey says. She smiles, and holds out a hand, before retracting it upon realizing that Pepper’s hands are full. “Right, anyways you probably want to get back to Mr. Stark soon.” Lacey says, shifting awkwardly. “It was an honor to meet you Miss Potts.” She says, and before Pepper can respond she’s headed back out of the kitchenette.

“Nice to meet you,” Pepper calls after the retreating nurse, bringing the cup of coffee up to her lips and taking a sip. It’s scalding hot, and lacking in flavor. Something Tony would probably call hot bean water. She takes a deep breath allowing the air to cool her tongue, and then steels herself to walk back to Tony’s room. Lacey waves at her as she passes the nurses station, and Pepper nods in acknowledgement.

 

Pepper’s heels clack loudly against the hospital tile as she makes her way back to his room. She continues to sip the hot ‘coffee’ despite the unpalatable flavour, and the way it burns her tongue. After the week she’s had the caffeine is worth it. She stops outside the open door, preparing herself for seeing Tony once again, frail and trapped under hospital sheets.

 

“-the pain should start fading soon.”  A voice slips through the crack in the door, gruff but clear, she can see the doctor she spoke to earlier through the small window in the left hand side of the door. Dr. Marris is standing near the edge of the bed as Tony moves to sit up slightly. She gives him a stern look, and Tony slouches back against the pillows. Dr. Marris is an older woman, hair greying at the temples, and she has a way about her that vaguely reminds Pepper of her third grade teacher Ms. Fowler. It’s in the eyes, she thinks, the intense and nearly amber gaze that seems to penetrate your innermost thoughts, almost hawk like. 

 

“You’re recovery is proceeding well,” Dr. Marris continues. Pepper assumes Tony must have stopped squirming in the bed.  She winces when she hears Tony grunt in response, grumpy as usua l when it comes to talking to doctors. She feels relief at the thought of his recovery going well though, and a bit of concern at the damage he can do to himself in the lab once released. He’s finally fully awake though, responsive, and that lifts a huge weight of Pepper’s shoulders. “No more chronic pain.” There’s a sad laugh from Tony, one she’s all too familiar with.

 

“Hard to imagine.” He admits, and Pepper feels her heart break at the thought. Tony in chronic pain, and he never said a word. She strides a few feet away trying to process that information, her reflection in a nearby window catches her attention. 

 

Dark bags hang under her eyes, almost purple against her ashen face. She hadn’t realized how...sunken and haggard she looks. 

 

There’s a soft noise as the door open behind her. 

 

“I know it was high risk, but he’s doing very well.” Dr. Marris informs Pepper, assuming her anxious pacing is a result of anxiety over Tony’s health. “He should be released in the next few days.” Pepper nods, drawing herself up to her full height.

 

“Thank you Dr. Marris. You’ve been a blessing with him.” Pepper says, and the doctor’s eyes crinkle as she smiles. 

 

“I think he would disagree.” She says and Pepper huffs a laugh in response, her gaze lands back on the small window in the door. She can see the IV in his arm from here but not much else. “I think he would say you’re the blessing.” Dr. Marris replies, and Pepper does her best not to cry. 

 

Certainly a blessing, she thinks bitterly, how lucky Tony was to have someone that he didn’t trust enough to discuss his health, how blessed he was to be with someone who didn’t even notice he was hurting. Pepper swallows lightly. 

 

“I should be getting back to him.” Pepper says, and Dr. Marris nods stepping out of her way.

 

“Have a nice day Miss Potts.” Dr. Marris says, before heading off presumably to see the next patient. Pepper’s hand pauses on the doorknob to Tony’s room. She takes a deep breath preparing herself and swings the door open. Tony is propped up against a few pillows now, and he smiles weakly when she enters.  

 

“Hey Pepper Pott.” He teases, and she forces a smile.

 

“Mr. Stark. Nice to see you awake today.” She nods, and he reaches a hand out towards her. She steps into arm's reach, features colored with concern.

 

“I was awake yesterday Pep.” He informs her, and she smiles at him indulgently, but there’s something behind her eyes that worries him. “What’s wrong?”

 

“The arc reactor, it hurt you.” Pepper whispers, and it’s not a question. Tony nods, its small, barely visible, but she notices. “How could you keep that from me?” Her voice rises and shakes as she attempts to maintain her composure. She takes a deep breath in through her nose.

 

“We could have done something about the pain. We could have removed it sooner or-"

 

“There was nothing you could do.” Tony interrupts sharply, his voice is flat and instantly Pepper’s heart drops in disappointment, “It would have only hurt you to know.”

 

“We could have done something, pain management, something.” Pepper insists.

"Give me a break Pepper, how could I tell you what this was doing to me?" Tony says, as if he hadn’t tried all of those things already. “Why would I burden you with something you could do nothing to fix?”

 

"But, we-we could have," Pepper starts but her voice falls away as Tony sighs and wipes his hand down his face tiredly, the IV remains there, tying him to the bed and the argument. 

 

"Pepper, there was nothing you could do." he looks up at her now, brown eyes bright against sallow skin. "I'm fine now, okay? Can we please just-just focus on that?" Her jaw pushes forward in an attempt to keep her lips from curling into the sob that hangs there.

 

“I didn't even notice,” Pepper says in a low voice, the lump in her throat begins to grow, slowly obstructing her voice.

 

As if that makes you guilty, Tony thinks; the pain had became normal,  he had grown used to it. 

 

“Some days, neither did I.” He admits, quietly not meeting her eyes.

 

"How did I not notice?" Her blue eyes are red rimmed and shining now, Tony's nostrils flare slightly and a distressed burst of air escapes his lips. 

 

"I didn't want you to." The words come out sharper than intended, and Pepper draws back, distancing herself physically from the situation. "I didn't want anyone to.” 

 

"After a while it was just normal, it was life. There was nothing to reveal because nothing changed, it always hurt the same." Tony says, and he looks up just in time to see her eyes begin to water, but there’s a determined set to her jaw.

 

"Did Shield know?" She asks. Suddenly he clenches the bed sheets between both hands and twists until his knuckles are white, she watches the action, patient.

 

"No." he grounds out as though the words are made of glass.

 

"But Phil-" She starts, remembering his involvement through the palladium incident, he had to know something.

 

"Agent was given a modified version of the events in Afghanistan, or SHIELD was. Rhodey helped me. The doctor told him a few things." Tony concedes in choppy, fragmented sentences, and she frowns. She wants to ask if Obadiah knew, but she knows better than to bring it up. 

 

"Jim knew?” She croaks, her voice is small in the quiet of the hospital room; Tony looks up once more and promptly deflates, his shoulders sag back into the single pillow behind him, 

 

"I made him promise not to tell.” Tony’s voice trails off as Pepper’s face hardens slightly, she runs a hand through thick blond hair to remove the clip holding it back, it falls around her shoulders -messy and full of kinks and knots from the sudden adjustment. She looks entirely unlike herself, Tony grimaces. 

 

"He knew and he never said anything." She mutters, and there’s a certain betrayal there. Tony can see the hurt well up inside her like water rising to the surface and slowly ebbing away. She stands there, less somehow. Her eyes are wet.

 

Rhodey  _ lied _ for him, not for the first time, but it was the first time he had done so to her. Pepper breathes in silently through her nose and sits down in the chair next to his bed. 

 

"Pep." Tony starts, not sure where he’s going, but knowing she needs something from him right now. His chest feels tight as he notices tears on her cheeks.

 

"I-I think I need some time Tony." She admits, voice soft. Tony’s chest burns.

 

"Pep, listen please. I never wanted to hurt you." Tony pleads, tears welling up in his eyes, he pushes down the feeling before it can overwhelm him. He can feel his chest constrict, the phantom weight shifts and expands between his lungs to obscure his voice, Pepper stands abruptly and fixes him with a baleful stare. 

 

"Will that be all Mr. Stark?" She asks, pulling herself together, and drawing up to her full height. 

 

He can't answer her, his voice has collapsed against his tongue, he nods dumbly and looks away from her blue eyes. His chest burns with imagined pain mixed with heartbreak, and his hand comes up to tap against the missing reactor, she freezes in place. Eyes fixed on the movement

"Say, that won't be all." She requests. He opens his mouth, but his lungs are too tight to speak, but somehow he does anyways.

 

"Stay, please. Just, it won't be all, just stay." Tony lifts his gaze from the sheets in time to see her cross the room in four short strides. She removes her stilettos one at a time, never breaking his gaze, before sitting on the bed next to his knee.

"I don't want to lose you," He whispers, brokenly, ardently as she takes his face in her hands. Her breath hitches once as she strokes her thumb along his cheekbone and underneath his eye to wipe away the wet skin.

"Then we have to try a little harder," she says with the barest of smiles, it doesn't reach her eyes.

 

"I-I am trying." Tony whispers, but it doesn’t feel like enough. His hand clenches in the fabric of his shirt in frustration, Pepper slowly moves her own to cup the shaking digits in her own warm and steady grip. 

 

"No, Tony, not you. We. We need to do better, to be better, to each other." She tells him. Tony shakes his head and moved to take back his hand; Pepper halts the motion as she threads her fingers through his own. 

"You haven't done anything wrong Pep." Tony says earnestly. She squeezes his hand reassuringly. "It's not your fault." He's silent for a moment before she speaks again, softer.

 

"It isn’t anyone's fault Tony, but we aren’t working right now. We've both made mistakes. We haven't been our best selves with everything that has been going on, but Tony,” she hesitates at the slight crease between his soft brown eyes and steels herself against the indecision, “we need to change something." She slowly removes her hands from his face, one roams through his hair before she drops them to her knees. "I can't do this. Any of this, if you lie to me. We need to relearn to communicate.” She tells him, Tony nods numbly.

 

“Okay, but, we’ll work on it?” He asks, and she nods, squeezing his hand.

 

“Yeah Tones, we’ll figure it out.”  She says with a smile, her eyes crinkle at the seams and Tony feels as though he could fall in love with her all over again. “We can do that, right genius?” She teases and he nods, smiling at her.

 

“An excellent plan Miss Potts.” He hums, she drops a soft kiss against his cheek, and he can feel his face grow warm as she lingers. A smile grows on his lips. It’s an excellent plan indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this fic feel free to leave me a comment, or buy me a coffee on https://ko-fi.com/A02114J6


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